Why We Are So Used To Suffering In Silence
Many of us hide in our snail shells to suffer in solitude, very quietly so that no one will notice. We pretend our snail shell can withstand anything and nothing and no one could find a way in, while inside we fight battles that have no truce. We keep doing that until one day we suddenly collapse.
We are social beings and yet the majority of us choose to face our suffering with ourselves. We prefer to share our laughter and beautiful moments with others and stick to our daily routine in our social environment, because at least this way we have the feeling that we are in control to a certain extent, as if nothing was happening and nothing could shake our emotional world .
“It takes more courage to face suffering than to die.”
Marlene Dietrich
Both psychologists and psychiatrists know very well that trauma and silence almost always go hand in hand. It is not easy to say what hurts us, and there are two reasons why we are afraid of being judged and of showing our vulnerability. Because in this relentless world, strong personalities triumph who can handle everything, who do not complain and who are motivated, optimistic and self-confident.
This undoubtedly leads to this horrific feeling that suffering is weakness. This shows us once again why there are so many people who suffer from depression and are not seeking treatment, and why the suicide rate among young people is alarmingly high.
We would like to invite you to think about it with us.
Why shouldn’t you suffer in silence?
Recently, the digital edition of a well-known newspaper published a letter to the editor from a woman who admitted that she was not getting on with her life. It was the third time she had become a mother and she did not feel able to get out of bed in the morning. Incredibly, the majority of the comments received were extremely contemptuous and sometimes even cruel.
Love you a little more and you will suffer less …
Postnatal mood crises or the difficult time of the puerperium are still taboo topics today. When a woman experiences these mood crises, she is judged because she is expected to give 100% for her baby, to be happy and always available. Because of this, many mothers suffer in silence, do not dare to express their feelings for fear of criticism from society.
The same thing happens to young people who experience firsthand what it means to be bullied, but do not talk to anyone about it, do not ask for help, remain in the cage of society and behind the closed door of their room because this is the only place where you feel safe. However, this is not an appropriate way of dealing with the situation. There is an urgent need to respond before it is too late, before their will is weakened even more and their existence no longer makes sense to them.
6 good reasons why we should stop suffering in silence
The first reason we should no longer suffer in silence is as simple as it is obvious: it only makes us suffer longer. If we don’t take this step and don’t ask for help, our pain will only intensify. He becomes a shadow that lies over everything and does not want to disappear again anytime soon.
- The symptoms become even more intense, we lose ourselves as human beings and become the reflection of our suffering, with worse and more complicated symptoms.
- Negative thoughts intensify.
- At some point we come to a point where we are uncomfortable with social contact and we even avoid it. Hugs, emotional touch and kind words lose their real meaning for us. We no longer trust them and see them as a threat.
- Denying that we need help only makes dealing with suffering more difficult.
- We just delay the suffering unnecessarily. Not daring to take this step, not wanting to seek help from a specialist, or trusting someone you trust, only reinforce the idea that trauma and suffering must take place in silence.
Lastly, but equally important, we need to be aware of the fact that suffering changes us. It pulls us under its spell and makes us a different person. We are therefore no longer true to ourselves and that is something that no one deserves.
Contact with ourselves and with others heals us
Suffering is isolated, but contact with others and with oneself is therapeutic and healing. After sharing our vulnerability and pain with the right person or a qualified specialist, we can move forward. The first is to stop sabotaging ourselves. Nobody chooses to suffer from postnatal mood crises. Nobody deserves to be a victim of bullying, a slave to a traumatic past or a lost childhood. Nor does anyone deserve to neglect themselves until one day they no longer love themselves.
“When you are suffering, force yourself to think about good moments. A single firefly is the end of the dark. “
Alejandro Jodorowsky
The second benefit is that it enables us to develop appropriate emotional catharsis. Many people go to psychotherapy because they are haunted by the bitter feeling of anger that they hide so that no one sees how fragile they are inside them. Working every day on reconciliation and an appropriate connection to the social environment helps to gradually free oneself from the shackles of suffering.
It’s undoubtedly a slow and labor-intensive process, but it’s worth it for each of us. As a result, we no longer suffer in silence and can count on someone who understands us and helps us. We should pause for a moment and think about stepping out of our forced lonely snail shell to allow ourselves to fearlessly be ourselves again.
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