When Cruel People Pretend To Be Good

There are many cruel people in this world who disguise themselves as good people. These people hurt and attack others. In doing so, they blackmail emotionally in the style of Niccolò Machiavelli, which is based on fear, aggression and guilt. They behave kindly, but behind the facade they hide their deep-seated frustrations and related thoughts.

It is said that people harm other people because they have been hurt themselves. Or that those who have been injured will cause injuries to other people. While there is some truth to these ideas, there is one more aspect that we don’t always like to admit: Evil exists. Sometimes there are biological “components” in cruel people that make them prone to certain aggressive behavior.

“There is no evil more cruel than the evil that grows from the seeds of kindness.”

Baldassare Castiglione

The scientist and writer Marcelino Cereijido points out that although there is no such thing as an evil gene, there are certain biological and cultural circumstances that are conducive to evil behavior. Recognizing such traits is made difficult by the fact that we tend to label behaviors and portray them as pathological, although they cannot be easily looked up in any diagnostic manual.

Evil deeds can be carried out without any underlying disease. We have all met people who fit this kind of profile. People who compliment us and pay us their attention, who adapt well and who are successful. But in the private sphere they cast long, dark shadows. The emptiness in their hearts harbors cruelty, apathy, and even aggression.

Cruel people and the moral molecule

As we said before, no one has yet been able to confirm the existence of a “bad” gene. In recent years, however, some research has been done on the so-called “moral molecule”. So that we can better understand what it is, let’s look at it in the context of a true story. A terrible story that, sadly, is not an isolated incident.

Hans Reiser is a programmer from the USA who developed the ReiserFS multipurpose filesystem. He has been behind bars since 2008 for killing his wife. He had no remorse, confessed to the murder and led the police to the body of his wife Nina. An interesting fact is that this programmer is very gifted. He attended university at the age of 15.

After completing a brief trial and serving his sentence at San Quentin State Prison, he decided to prepare his own appeals process. In five handwritten pages, he argued that his brain works differently than most people’s. He knew that studies were being made of the hormone oxytocin and he argued with them. According to his own statement , he is equipped with a brain that does not produce the so-called moral molecule. He therefore lacks empathy.

As presumably expected, this argument did nothing to change his life imprisonment sentence. However, it rekindled the discussion about the origin of evil . Today the fact is confirmed that oxytocin is the hormone that makes us human in the moral sense of the word. Because oxytocin is released, we treat each other with respect, take care of others and behave empathically towards them.

How to protect yourself from hidden cruelty

“The world is a dangerous place, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who do nothing about evil.”

Albert Einstein

In our daily life we ​​do not always deal with people who are as cruel as the person just described. However, we become victims of other types of interaction: false kindness, hidden aggression, manipulation, subtle selfishness, harmful sarcasm, etc.

These behaviors can be the result of various causes. Perhaps the person in question lacks emotional intelligence. Perhaps she grew up in a non-emotional environment, or – why ruled that out – she has an oxytocin deficiency. All of these can be reasons why she has a high potential for aggression. Whatever the trigger, it’s important to keep in mind that aggression isn’t just related to physical abuse: emotional, instrumental, and verbal aggression may be less noticeable because it’s harder to detect. We are, however, forced to stand up against it more often than against physical aggression.

How to recognize and avoid cruel people

Anyone can become a victim of cruel people. It doesn’t matter how old you are, what social status you have or what experiences you have had in life so far. These people are in our families, in our workplaces, and in every other situation. But there are many ways to spot them.

• A person with darkness in their hearts will try to get you covered with lies. She disguises herself with fine words and noble deeds, but bit by bit the blackmail behind it will reveal itself. And that is followed by fear, guilt, and mental abuse.

• There is only one option to counter these tricks: you just don’t tolerate them. It doesn’t matter whether it’s your sister, partner or colleague. People who upset your sense of calm and balance only have one thing on their minds, which is to wipe out your self-esteem and control you.
• You will clearly feel as if the situation is hopeless and they have brought you under their control. Remember, however, that “the most powerful person is the one who is their own lord and master”. So you have to vigorously thwart their game of dominating you and using aggression for it.

Games where the goal is to dominate the other and because the application of hidden aggression is very complex, you have to act quickly, uncover the traps and react to disguised threats. From the moment you get upset or feel uncomfortable about certain behaviors, there is only one option: you create distance between yourself and the person concerned.