To The People Who Criticize Destructively: What Are You Missing Inside?

Why are there people who feel they have to constantly criticize others in order to feel better about themselves? What is the motivation behind the destructive criticism? What are these people lacking inside that needs to be filled with the outside? Destructive criticism is a symptom and it doesn’t create, it destroys.

A study conducted by Wake Forest University (North Carolina, USA) shows that people who constantly criticize are actually more unhappy and more likely to be affected by depression. This result has now been reproduced in a more recent study. The latter also showed that the destructive criticism, rejection and humiliation are generated in the same part of the brain that is responsible for regulating the sensation of pain.

When we look at these results, we can see that those who criticize are those who are most dissatisfied with their lives. They are people who have to diminish the outside in order to increase the inside; People who cannot enjoy the accomplishments of others; People who prefer to put obstacles in the way of others before engaging in problem-solving. They are negative or empty people and people with low self-esteem.

“A positive perception of other people indicates great satisfaction with your own life.”

Dustin Wood

Low self-esteem is the basis of destructive criticism

When we criticize other people, it says more about ourselves than about the person we are talking about. When we talk about others, we project our insides outward. If you criticize someone, you bring unaccepted parts of your own personality or behavior to light.

Because of this, people with healthy self-esteem are less likely to criticize. You are balanced. They know each other and what they are made of, that they may not like one or the other aspect, but that they have to work on themselves to improve them and not on those around them. Our self-esteem and our relationship with ourselves determine how we behave towards others.

So what can we do? Every time we see something in others that irritates us, that we don’t like, that bothers us, we have to think about what is in us: why does that bother me? Why can’t I take it? Why don’t I like being close to this person? Maybe that brings us closer to an unaccepted part of ourselves.

Each and every one of us can only see what we have in our hearts. Those who couldn’t find anything good in the places they’ve been to will not be able to find anything good here and there.

How can we offer positive criticism?

Before criticizing anyone, we should ask ourselves if our comment will help? That is, if I have information, advice or something important to share with someone, I must first ask myself: Am I making constructive or destructive criticism? If I have nothing to add, why would I want to take something?

Another question that should be asked before making any critical statements is: am I criticizing something about the other or is it really something that I don’t like about myself? What part of me doesn’t tolerate this behavior? What part of the criticism is to be directed at myself?

And finally, before deciding to criticize someone, you should empathize with the other person and consider whether a subjective comment fits the other person’s situation or whether that person is in a different position than you. Why did the person act like this? What could I do to improve the situation?

Criticism from a healthy, confident person can help and help solve a problem. On the contrary, criticism made out of anger, envy or misfortune can trigger something even more negative and would therefore be destructive criticism.