The Successful Balance Between Naivety And Mistrust

Naivety and distrust are two innate tendencies that are particularly evident when it comes to relationships. If there is no balance, that is, if a person is too naive or too suspicious, difficulties can arise in social interaction.

Some of these problems are easy to spot: interpersonal conflict, isolation, and in extreme cases, abuse. If you think about it, you probably know a very confident person who is being exploited or a suspicious person who, because of this quality, lacks friendships.

The balance between these two traits seems to be one of the keys to being healthy with others. We invite you to reflect on this topic with us.

What do these two properties mean?

Naivety and mistrust are opposites as personality traits. They often come into play when assessing the behavior of others and provoke certain behavior patterns.

• Naive people tend to see kindness and positive qualities in others. They seldom see bad intentions, but they are often taken advantage of.
• Suspicious people, on the other hand  , often assume malicious intentions  and refuse favors and fine words. This often leads to loneliness and a pessimistic attitude.

Most personality psychology experts confirm that confidentiality or distrust tends to be present from birth. For example, Silvan Tomkins distinguished between two innate archetypes of humans :

• Humanistic people : They assume that others have the same mindsets and goals and therefore do not believe that they can be deceived or exploited.
• Normative people: They tend to go to the other extreme, viewing other people as potential enemies. Most of the time they are not aware that others want to follow the same path. They wait at the finish line to collect the prize.

The tendency to distrust or naivety is innate to a certain extent, but does not depend on factors such as gender, age or cognitive abilities. In addition, it is not about rigid character traits, because they can be changed through experience.

How do I find the balance between naivety and distrust?

To avoid polarization of naivety and mistrust, is a behavior modulation necessary. You have to learn to perceive social situations in a broader context. Don’t forget that people around you are able to tell if someone is suspicious or native and react accordingly. Depending on their character, they can, for example, take advantage of this situation, go away or defend themselves.

Changing all of that is a long distance race, but it is possible. If you want to find a balance between naivety and distrust, we recommend the following steps:

• To learn more about your own confidentiality or suspicious behavior, ask others : As mentioned, the perception of others plays a fundamental role in the dynamic that creates uncomfortable situations. Ask people you trust for their opinion, because this way you can improve your self-image and get a clear idea of ​​what you need to change.
• Analyze the situation : pause and take your time to analyze the situations in which you feel bad. Try to interpret these as objectively as possible so that your expectations don’t tarnish your judgment. You need clear and objective information about the causes that lead to these uncomfortable situations.

• Use your experience : learn from the past to avoid future mistakes. For example, if you have a tendency to be overly confidential, you can spot patterns of behavior in other people that will help you. You will see when someone wants to take advantage of you.
• Be open: You should be ready to change your own perception, even if it is difficult, as it is mostly unconscious patterns. Analyze experienced events in order to find future solutions, because this is more important than always being right.
• Avoid extreme thoughts : nothing is black or white, nobody is fundamentally good or bad. It makes more sense to set boundaries in relationships with other people than to  categorize them. This makes you more flexible in your behavior and your judgments.

Balance is a good advisor in many cases. Mistakes and disappointments can never be completely avoided, but if you act confidently in your surroundings and stay true to yourself, you can minimize them. Pragmatism is your most important ally.