The Power Of Self-confidence: Even If Nobody Believes In You, You Should Always Believe In Yourself

If no one believes in you, this is the perfect time to believe in yourself and show your teeth to the world. If someone tells you that you are not worth it, that you missed the right time, or that one of your wishes might not be for you, look up and smile. Because only you or life itself can set limits for you. Growing above yourself is a very personal matter and instills confidence.

Sometimes we have to dare to jump into the deep end. This is the only way we can face our fear and limit its influence. Insecurity is a bad companion. Those who prefer to feel safe will never enjoy these vantage points, from which we can see the endless possibilities that lie directly in front of us.

“Dare to be brave today and trust that you will fly when you spread your wings.”

Maria Humuth

Abraham Maslow told us that man with an almost unlimited potential for self-realization comes into the world to get to the top of the hierarchy of needs where the greatest goals, happiness and well-being, are located. As interesting as that may seem, unfortunately not everyone succeeds in reaching this summit, despite the fact that everyone’s skills would allow it.

What is the reason for that? At some point each of us struggles with someone who is able to limit his personal growth. This can happen under very different circumstances and this person often comes into our lives without warning. It can be a family member, friend, teacher, work colleague, or supervisor. We are talking about people who clasp our wings and convince us that we are not worth something.

The power of self-confidence

The Jonas Complex: When we no longer believe in ourselves

As a child you had asthma and from a young age you were always told that sport was not good for you: football, karate or tennis? Better to do a quieter activity like chess or drawing so you don’t endanger yourself. You later told your teacher that you wanted to be an astronaut and he looked at you with a mixture of mockery and irony in his gaze: But you are not good at science! He said to you with a smile, “You’d better choose a career in writing.”

After studying geography and history at university, you decide to become a writer. It takes a year to complete an original science fiction novel with dystopian nuances and lots of humor. But if you send it to a publisher, it won’t even reply to you, or if it does, it will only reply with a standard message.

Your manuscript is one among thousands. Your family and friends also advise you to quit your job and apply for a job as a teacher in a secondary school. A teacher who one day dreamed of becoming a top athlete, later an astronaut and then a writer.

So what should we do if no one believes in us? Maslow himself has a very interesting book called The Farther Reaches of Human Nature  (to German: The long reach of human nature , not in German available) to write on the subject. In it, he stated that while most of us had remarkable potential for self-actualization, we rarely achieved it to the full. We would limit ourselves to fantasizing about what we could do and what we could achieve.

However, we would not provide ourselves with the means or create the psychological conditions that would favor success. We would let ourselves be influenced by the opinions of others and choose to stay in our comfort zone. Maslow called this reality the Jonas Complex. This complex describes a person who is aware of his competencies, but does not dare to develop them further out of fear and uncertainty.

What can we do when nobody believes in us?

We have to admit one thing: there will always be one or more people who step into our lives to tell us that we are not worth something, that we cannot do something, and worse, that we have this dream, this desire would not realize this project. If no one believes in us, we have only one option, the most logical and plausible option: we have to believe in ourselves and show these people that they may be wrong.

This rethinking is not easy and does not happen overnight. For this we have to work on ourselves inside. This work should be based on three principles. 

1. Don’t be yourself, be who you want to be

We have heard it countless times: “Learn to be yourself”. It is time to go one step further and to give this project a little more concrete expression. If we limit ourselves to “being ourselves,” it is very possible that we are clinging to something that is of no use to us at all. If our current selves are fearful, insecure and in need of a lot of reassurance, we will hardly achieve our goals.

We have to find out what we want and who we want to be. We have to encourage an inner transformation that gives us new courage and renews our strength to fully believe in ourselves.

2. A leap of faith in the life you have and the life you want to have

Every jump into the cold water requires an impulse, and every impulse requires strength, will, motivation and optimism. So if no one believes in you and your possibilities, there is no way you should let yourself get infected with this self-destructive mindset and negativity. Imagine your path, make a plan in your head and approach it positively and decisively. It’s the only way to make big leaps.

“If nobody believes in you, there is only one way: you have to be stronger and more optimistic than ever.”

3. If certain people don’t believe in you, someone else will

In order to achieve a goal, we must undoubtedly have to trust ourselves. We live in social environments and therefore it is not always possible to achieve a goal and be successful. A triumph demands recognition; a promotion or award means that third parties recognize our efforts.

So we shouldn’t let these initial negative comments overwhelm us. We should not, therefore, bow our heads in front of someone who at some point doubts us and even ironically mocks our ideas. Because great successes never start easily. At some point the right people will come who see, appreciate and perceive the courage we have in us.

Finally, let us remind you again of the correct statement that tells us that the opposite of courage is not fear or cowardice, but indifference . This is exactly our real problem: being satisfied with what we already have while taking as true the comments others make about us.

Accordingly, we should slowly begin to doubt those who are trying to erase our dreams, who suggest that we get off our high horse or that we should stop insisting on those ridiculous desires. No goal is ridiculous when we have carried it around in our minds and hearts for some time. We should face our fear and overcome conformism to reach our very own peaks.