Stand Up Against Criticism
“With every stone they throw at me, I build my fortress”
Elvira Sastre
We face criticism every day. Although it is something very common, we find it difficult to get used to it. It’s always difficult to take criticism, especially when it comes from people we care about.
Criticism is inevitable
Acceptance is the first step. If we don’t realize that criticism is normal, frustration will eat us up. As long as we don’t live on an island, separate from the rest of humanity, there will always be someone who says something negative about us.
At the same time, we have to accept that all of us, some more, others less, have shown this kind of behavior ourselves. Maybe you were a little more constructive or maybe more destructive. Maybe we behaved like this because the others did the same. So let’s accept that sometimes we criticize and sometimes we are the object of criticism.
Be patient
In order to be patient , we must use all our efforts to keep our calm. It’s about not being impulsive and keeping calm so as to achieve that the emotions of the moment cool down a bit. So you can first analyze the situation and then act in a more rational way.
There are certain tools to do this, for example, taking a deep breath, forcing yourself to remain still for a moment. Be it by starting to count or concentrating on something else, for example remembering a pleasant picture or pleasant moment.
Learn to forgive
We will always meet people who want to harm us. In some cases it is a poisoned person, while others act with no ill intention. But whatever drives them, disappointment and pain are inevitable.
Forgiving is about accepting what happened and letting it go. It implies that we leave things in the past and not let them affect our present. Even if it’s not easy, it’s the best we can do for ourselves. In this way we can continue on our way.
If we are unable to forgive, then these negative feelings will continue to build up to the point where we will be unable to be happy. We can’t make the world perfect, but we can change ourselves.
Recognize different types of criticism
Not all criticism is the same. It may be that we criticized someone on sincere way, because we have done something improper and that person just trying to be honest with us and to help us. Such criticism is justified and constructive because it opens up the possibility of improvement.
How do you deal with justified criticism?
When we receive constructive criticism, even if we don’t like it, we have to recognize it as something positive. If we go on the defensive by negating the situation and at the same time attacking the other person with more criticism, then we are only provoking an argument.
We have to accept the criticism with sincerity, acknowledge our mistakes and propose a solution: “Yes, what you tell me is true, I can fully understand it. I didn’t see it that way before you told me . From now on I will try to change this behavior. “
The solution is to be steadfast but rational.
How do you deal with destructive criticism?
It takes a lot more effort to deal with such criticism. It is important to understand that it is a provocation and that if we respond to it, we are going to war. Probably there is only a series of mutual insults, which in turn result in nothing more than aversion and we leave a bad impression on the other person.
In such cases, it is best to remain calm and show indifference. You shouldn’t play the game, because as the saying goes: “There is no greater disdain than not noticing someone.” The other person is trying to harm us, and if we protect and don’t let that affect us, then we are the winners of the lot.
Criticism, in turn, is their way of dealing with this envy, an attempt to boost their self-esteem by trying to weaken ours. So imagine when someone criticizes you in this way that you are obviously doing something right.
What if it is us who criticize others?
When we criticize others ourselves, the first thing we should ask ourselves is why we are doing it. Are we doing it because our friends are criticizing someone and we want to join the conversation? Because we feel envy? Or because we are ashamed of our defects and want to see that the other person also has defects?
Live far from criticism
There is no doubt that criticism is so deeply rooted in our society that it would be utopian to think that it will one day disappear. But by making small changes in our lives, we can rid ourselves of their most negative effects.
Learn to accept constructive criticism and use it as a trampoline for your own improvement. Ignore unjustified criticism and distance yourself from toxic people who spread them. Try as much as possible to avoid expressing this type of criticism yourself and avoid engaging in such conversations. It will definitely be good for your peace of mind and you will live a calmer and happier life.
Images courtesy of Chichi Huang
