Parting On Good Terms

It is okay to let someone go, but better still to say goodbye in peace and free ourselves from the burden of anger, anger, and desolation. When we part with someone on good terms, we can accept the breakup much less painfully, more tolerably and more freely.

This may sound contrary to popular belief, but it is possible to escape painful and unhealthy feelings. Of course there are moments that we have to live through very intensely, but we can do that without suffering, without throwing plates at each other, without thinking of anything how we should give the other person who caused us pain, can do the same.

How is it possible to part on good terms? By channeling and stopping short-tempered feelings by knowing our emotions and allowing us to express them in ways that are less painful for us and those around us.

Resentment makes us vulnerable

It is very difficult not to be angry with someone and not hold a grudge against a person who has hurt us with their selfishness, behavior and bad decisions. But we can channel our emotions using a tactic that goes like this:

• Understand that anger is normal, but anger only makes us more painful.
• Everyone should find out how they express these feelings and how they develop into resentment. To do this, we must first change our point of view, open our minds, accept the situation itself and organize our thoughts.

• It is the events that cause us pain, which is why it makes no sense to add destructive thoughts and behaviors to our own suffering.
• It is useless to seek to appease, repair, or return the emotional parts of a relationship that caused it. There is no general cure for making emotional wounds heal faster.
• So in order to free ourselves from the heavy burden of broken relationships, we need to use one of these wonderful brain skills: forgetfulness.
• It is not easy to forget why we should work initially to avoid paying too much attention to the memories and the painful part of an experience .
• This will help us start the process of forgetting and neutralize our unhealthy feelings. Next, we must not feel sorry for ourselves, become victims, and consider the possibility of forgiving the person who is responsible for our suffering and who no longer wants to be in our lives.

Forgiving doesn’t mean the pain will go away

We can distance ourselves from the situation as much as we want, but forgiving doesn’t mean that our pain will go away in an instant. Of course, this does not justify the behavior of the other person, which is painful for us, just as little can he evade his responsibility. If we forgive someone, it still helps us to keep our thoughts from ruining us and to keep us from losing confidence and respect for ourselves.

If we don’t want to become frustrated, bitter, bad-tempered, fearful, pessimistic, withdrawn, dominant, guilty, aggressive, and arguing people, it is important to practice forgiveness.

It is better for each of us to leave behind a relationship that only results in negative feelings, negatively expands our wealth of experience, and lets a part of us die that we hold dear. Therefore I would like to tell you the metaphor of the “grudge potatoes”:

“Resentment” was the subject of the class today. Our teacher asked us to bring a backpack and a sack of potatoes. When we sat down, we were supposed to label a potato for each person we held a grudge against and put it in our backpack. We should carry this backpack full of potatoes around with us for a week.

As was to be expected, the potatoes were rotting and we were now tired of lugging them around with us every day. Little by little we understood the lesson: Our backpack made clear to us the emotional burden that we carried around with us every day.

While we always had our focus on our backpack, we could not pay attention to many more important things. We also felt the inside of our emotional backpack begin to rot and become an ever greater burden. That made clear to us the price we paid every day for holding grudges that had long since passed and that we couldn’t change.

If we cannot forgive and free ourselves, that is pure poison for us, of which we swallow a drop every day and which resembles resentment. It is obvious that forgiveness is not a gift we give to others, but to ourselves. Therefore, we should always try to part on good things.

Think carefully about whether a breakup can cause you suffering for such a long time. Because there is no point in destroying ourselves through past wounds. Nor does it make sense to let the contents of our emotional backpack go to waste.