My Child Is A Narcissist: What Can I Do?

Many parents wonder what they did wrong in parenting and need help understanding and dealing with certain behaviors of their children. Some children are extremely selfish and have a great need for attention, admiration, and approval. Is your kid a  narcissist  and you don’t know what to do? Read on, we are talking about this topic today.

In most cases, narcissists are not born but are shaped by their family environment. However, many factors play a role in pathological narcissism or a narcissistic personality disorder. 

Coexistence can become complicated or even threatening, so it is  essential to take the right steps. Narcissism can lead to serious problems that particularly affect the family.

How does a narcissist behave as a child or in adulthood?

There is currently no scientific evidence that a gene for narcissistic personality disorder exists. According to a study by Utrecht University published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences , the origin of this disorder is not entirely clear, but social factors (education, context, reference models, etc.) carry relevant weight.

Sometimes parents are aware that their child is too spoiled and never had limits. In other cases, the parents themselves are the role models that children imitate, including their self-centered and aggressive behavior. Likewise , affective neglect or highly competitive environments tend to shape narcissistic behaviors.

There are many triggers, and it is very common for only one child to exhibit these personality traits, but not their siblings. Not all variables are 100% known.

Characteristics of narcissistic children

• Grandiosity. They are convinced that they have more than others and are better.
• Constant need to be the center of attention. Failure to do this can lead to screaming, anger and even aggressive behavior.
• Constant feelings of envy.
• They can show anti-social behavior: stealing from other children, assaults …

• Exploitative relationships with their siblings, classmates, etc. They are always looking for something in return.
• Problems making and maintaining friendships.
• They never express gratitude.
• They are not responsible for their actions.
• Tendency towards constant anger and fits of anger.
• They defy all authority.
• Lack of empathy.
• Very superficial self-confidence.
• You are easily offended.
• Emotional instability.
• When they do not receive praise, they feel empty or sad and enter depressed states.

The adult narcissist

The main characteristic of an adult with narcissistic traits is that they continuously manipulate their family in order to achieve their goals. They are people with little empathy and are not very close to their family. They are often angry when they don’t get what they want. Sometimes they just cut off contact with their family.

However, after a few days they usually return as if nothing had happened. They often repeat that their parents gave birth to them and that it is therefore their duty to provide financial support and assistance. Your selfishness can reach very insidious extremes.

What can I do if my child is a narcissist?

What do I do when I am aware that my child is a narcissist? Is there a going back? Can I do things differently to correct his behavior, limit his size, and improve his self-esteem?

The younger the child, the more effective certain measures will be. But young people can also change. We’ll then look at a few options.

Build your child’s self-esteem

Children have to learn to put themselves in other people’s shoes. This takes time and effort, but it’s important to consider other people’s perspectives and show empathy.

Frustration tolerance: children cannot have everything they want

You have to set boundaries, say “no” if necessary, and help your child cope with negative emotions such as frustration. This is crucial in toning down the narcissistic personality.

Promote altruistic behavior

There are many ways to encourage cooperative, prosocial and altruistic behavior in children and young people. Enrolling in courses or volunteering experiences, team sports, etc. can foster new visions, feelings, and empathy.

Amazement and a humble look

When a child is a narcissist, they must learn to keep their self-centered gaze on other things. Your child has to learn to be amazed and to be interested in new things: art, astronomy, nature … Passion comes from practicing a sport or another discipline.

Be the best role model for your child yourself

Parents should be the best role models for their child. It’s not just about good behavior, manners, respect and empathy, but also about harmony and coherence in upbringing and by example. 

A narcissist needs age-appropriate responsibilities

A narcissistic child must learn that  arrogance has no future. It has to learn to take on age-appropriate responsibilities so that it can better integrate into society and regulate its behavior.

Is your child a narcissist? Emotional management and social skills are important

Tantrums, anger, mood swings, sadness, fear … The narcissistic personality develops in childhood based on many variables, but emotional mismanagement always plays a conditioning role. You have to show your child how to properly handle their emotions. It has to learn self-control and be able to adapt its behavior to the respective situation.

It also has to learn social skills in order to move in harmony and respect in society. Behaviors such as manipulation, deception, disrespect, and aggressiveness result in the child becoming excluded and causing problems in any scenario.

If you think your child is a narcissist, you should  seek professional help to support your child. It’s a complex challenge, but the sooner you look for a solution, the faster you will get results.