How Do You Actually Lose Properly?

Do you always let your child win? Even if you think that is right, his victory is a false success. In fact, your child may already have realized this and may have said to you on more than one occasion, “Dad! Don’t let me win, play right! ”  If so, then I’m sure you were blown away when your kid first said this! Your child wants exactly the challenge that you want to avoid. And wants to take the risk of losing. But how can we really lose at all?

While it may seem silly, the truth is that your attitude is preventing your child from growing spiritually. You are preventing it from maturing and finding out that sometimes it will be successful, but sometimes it won’t. Because of this, it is very important to learn how to lose properly in the early stages of life. You can’t always win, but knowing how to accept defeat and victory is very valuable for your future.

Learning how to lose is just as important as knowing how to win. If you always let your child win, they will never have that opportunity.

Do you let your child win because you are afraid that if they lose they will be badly off?

No doubt you are letting your child win because you fear that if they lose, their self-esteem could suffer. You think that it would feel bad and be left with a series of defeats. But all you can achieve is to deny your child the great experience of feeling what it’s like when you lose. To learn that you often have to make two attempts to win.

The saying “you have to know how to lose” fits this very well. Putting it into practice, your child can resolve conflicts and problems that will recur, especially when they are least expecting them. But none of this will be possible for them if you always let it win. Your child is the loser if you always pretend you are losing when your child couldn’t beat you. How can they prepare for that lousy feeling that they will surely expect when they win every single game?

Giving your child an edge

One way to do better is to give your child an edge. This way you make sure that you are playing on the same level as your child. You can also take into account the difficulty of the game. There are some games that your child may be too young to play. In this type of game, it is a good idea to play on a team. By playing together, you can support his learning process.

We tend to think that defeat affects our children’s self-esteem, but this is not true. On the contrary, it actually makes the children stronger.

If your child is experiencing what it is like to lose, then you have a great opportunity to teach them how to cope with failure. For example, you can show your child that enjoying the moment is far more important than just focusing on the end result. You can teach your child to focus on what they felt throughout the experience, what they enjoyed. Then the result will no longer be a determining factor.

Learn how to lose properly

It is very important that your child experience what it is like to lose their struggles. Let it learn how to behave in the face of defeat and not fall when it occurs. In this way, your child will learn not to project their anger onto others and will be able to acknowledge their efforts and their victory.

We also learn from defeat what we can do better next time. Once your child understands this, they won’t see a mistake as a door that suddenly closes. It will see that it is indeed an opportunity to improve, mature and grow in those aspects that are yet to be developed. Your child will be much better able to tolerate frustrations when they lose every now and then. Instead of being torn down by opponents or enemies, it will learn to use defeat in its favor and emerge stronger from it.

Without a doubt, your child will see that if they fail, they have some responsibility for what happened. This is also the case when real life does not meet its expectations. The game is therefore an opportunity to learn not to blame others and to take responsibility.

The great experience of losing

If you let your child win, they will be prevented from having the important experience of defeat, which, while it may seem negative at first, is critical to their development. Sooner or later it will have difficulties that it will have to solve. If your child has not learned how to lose, how can you expect them to act with integrity and maturity, and know how to hold their own in things much more important than mere play?

Whether you win or lose, you always learn something. The most important thing is the path we are going and knowing how to enjoy the path. This is the real substance of all learning. Don’t worry if your child gets sad when they lose a game. Because after all, that’s all – a game. In no time it will get over it. If he learns to accept the result in a sporty way, whatever it is, then he will have a strong and resilient foundation that will enable him to overcome any obstacle that he may face in the future.

When you lose, you sometimes also win because you can always learn something from defeat.