Closing A Past Relationship Well Is The Best Starting Point For The Next
Starting a new relationship means writing a new chapter in the book of your life. This means learning the lessons from the previous chapters to take full advantage of the next. But that doesn’t mean that we should get stuck in the past like people who drive around with the handbrake on ” just in case “.
Sometimes we encounter widespread problems when starting a new romantic relationship. Depending on how our relationships so far have developed, we will be more or less cautious, more or less suspicious. We wander in the dark uncertainty of this new challenge that life has brought us.
Far from becoming a spontaneous and natural process, falling in love becomes a risky profession. Fear has a firm grip on us and whispers in our ears the future risks related to past problems. It paralyzes our spontaneity and our enjoyment. Unfortunately, it removes us from others. It gets us second place in a totally unfair way. Injustice to ourselves and to this new person who has appeared in our life.
Before we begin another chapter, let’s digest the previous one
Spontaneity, joy, and peace of mind are often buried and meant for a better place. We are waiting to be picked up from where we hid them. Why? Perhaps because there is a cruel fear of repeating past mistakes. Making the wrong choice, not knowing how to predict or correctly interpret the signs.
As a result, you have to allow some time to pass for this old chapter (within your means) to be properly digested. For these lessons and the lessons from them, you must have the experience of being filtered. When we immediately chain one relationship to another, we are not allowing ourselves to relax. This period of rest that our hearts need to see through. Also to understand the experiences it has had.
“Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it.”
George Santayana
This is especially true in those cases where the previous relationship was toxic and harmful to us. We need to be able to find time to understand what this relationship was trying to teach us. Blaming someone else for something that is our responsibility never helps. That is why it is always important to be honest and sincere with ourselves.
When we learn the lessons of the past, we will make better decisions
The following chapters will be a little more liberal, without so many problems and difficulties. In this way, people will come into our lives in a more natural and informal manner. The heart calms down and learns the lessons of the past. When ready to take on a new adventure, our hearts are healthy and free.
“We should use the past as a trampoline, not a couch.”
Harold MacMillan
The mistakes from our past will help us choose the right person. Of course, we don’t want to relive this or that situation that made us suffer in the past. So it is crucial to ask yourself what responsibility we had in the previous experience. What are the wounds that led us to choose a certain person as a romantic partner and not another?
Uncertainty is a part of life and we shouldn’t let it paralyze us
From this clean, pure and healthy point, we can better choose a new partner in our life. It will not be difficulties, dependencies, or our shortcomings that choose our partner. Instead, each of our “I’s”, perfect and healthy, will make the choice. We will choose a person who enriches us, who brings light and reassurance with their presence.
Learning the lessons of the past is crucial to moving on the way of life. We have to accept the uncertainty as to whether everything will work as part of our existence. But a smarter “me” will have emerged and everything will stop being so chaotic.
It is good to be careful and to have some respect for what is coming. But we also have to leave some leeway for life so that it can surprise us. So close your past chapters well, learn your lessons to begin a new chapter with hope and devotion. This is the only way you can welcome the good things that are to come.
