Avoid Negativity In Dialogue With Yourself! 6 Strategies
We all talk to ourselves, but we cannot always call ourselves our best friend. The inner dialogue is sometimes marked by constant negativity, which does not help you. On the contrary: you have to learn to replace this hostile voice with positive words in order not to harm yourself and to protect your physical and mental health.
Different strategies can help you motivate yourself instead of bullying yourself.
Self-talk
The importance of self-talk is often underestimated. Scientific evidence shows that the way we talk to ourselves has a huge impact.
Rantanen et al. (2021) published a study on the effects of verbalization of negative memories on the autonomic activity of the organism. The results showed that verbalizing a negative memory had regulatory effects on sympathetic and parasympathetic responses. In other words, this reminder allowed participants to stay calm by lowering their heart rates.
On the other hand, Tanck et al. (2021) examined the effectiveness of the mirror exposure technique in a work. More specifically, its effectiveness in treating emotions, body image and eating disorders. In their study, the authors made a comparison between positive and negative statements. Among other things, they conclude that positive expressions are the best choice for promoting body satisfaction.
These findings help us to better assess the consequences of the negative internal dialogue. After all , mental wellbeing is an essential aspect that suffers from negative voices. If you change the way you talk to yourself, you will find yourself feeling better.
Avoid negativity in dialogue with yourself! 6 strategies
The dialogue with yourself is formulated through positive and negative experiences that form your belief system. It changes over time, but you can also control it yourself. You can learn to replace negativity with positive words that increase your satisfaction. In order to achieve this goal, you should develop certain habits in everyday life, which we describe below.
1. Avoid cognitive biases
Cognitive distortions are errors in information processing that lead to an altered perception of reality. There are works such as that by Platt et al. (2015), who show the connection between these and depression in both adolescents and adults.
In this sense , recognizing and removing cognitive prejudices improves internal dialogue. An example of this would be disaster thinking, which leads you to always envision the worst possible scenarios. In this situation, you might ask yourself, how likely is it that it will actually happen? You will surely find that these thoughts are not rational.
2. Listen to your inner voice
Many think that ignoring negative things is enough to avoid discomfort. However, this does not correspond to reality. Don’t forget that anything that isn’t processed properly will reappear as a symptom.
Start listening to the phrases you say to yourself a lot throughout the day. If possible, write them down in a notebook so you can better understand how your internal dialogue affects your feelings.
3. Incorporate positive language into your dialogue
Once you’ve identified the negative expressions that are making you feel bad, it’s time to replace them with positive ones. There are different phrases or mantras that you can use in different situations to help regulate your emotions.
It is not enough to recognize negative thoughts and discard them. If you want to stop your negative inner dialogue, you have to include positive things as well. For example, a typical negative thought might be, “If something goes wrong, I will be very desperate. “Instead, you could say ,” If a problem arises, I’ll tackle it and fix it . “
4. Work on your self-esteem
Your inner voice has a lot to do with your self-esteem. People who constantly criticize themselves destructively develop a negative self-image. To prevent this negative dialogue, encourage a friendlier view of yourself. Make a list of your positive and negative traits to enable realistic perception. Don’t forget that mistakes help you grow and are a part of life.
5. Focus on the present in your dialogue
Many worry too much about the future or focus on the past. If you only think of unfortunate events or mistakes in the past, or always keep in mind what could happen, you will not achieve satisfaction. You cannot change the past and the future is not here yet.
This is why you should focus on the present: this will improve your ability to react and resolve conflicts. There is no point in spending mental and physical energy on a problem that doesn’t exist or on events that you can no longer change. Try to solve problems immediately and not carry around with you.
6. Psychotherapy can help you
Finally, you should consider psychological counseling to help you manage your emotional distress. As part of psychotherapy, you can find out the causes of your negative dialogue. Various techniques will help you develop a friendlier inner voice.
Remember that negative self-talk is sometimes related to clinical conditions such as depression or anxiety. In such cases, psychological or psychiatric intervention is always the best alternative.
