How To Alleviate The Effects Of Guilt
We live in a cultural environment that tries to enforce certain norms of behavior. We are told that there are rewards and penalties for our actions. And when we make a mistake or do something that contradicts the rules of “accepted behavior,” it makes us feel guilty. This can also be true when we simply stop doing something that is “expected”. This is where all of our problems begin: with the feelings of guilt and the effects of guilt.
We can find these types of rules anywhere. In the family, at work, at school, in our everyday life. At all times , our decisions are checked against a kind of code of conduct in order to identify right and wrong. This code of conduct is like a moral compass that guides us when we become social beings.
“It is not my fault that life is nourished by virtue and sin, by the beautiful and the ugly.”
Benito Pérez Galdós
Sometimes things seem to go further. For example, representatives of some religions, such as Catholicism, are convinced that they were born with a guilt called “original sin.” This sin can only be erased through the sacrament of Baptism. We are found guilty before we even enter this world. But we don’t even know what the reason for this judgment is.
The ideal would be that we don’t let this fear paralyze us. It is good to recognize our mistakes, to reflect on them and to learn from them. But it’s not healthy to feel guilty for life. Nobody would be able to grow as a person and achieve their goals that way. A sense of guilt so strong that it rules our lives is dangerous.
Do not judge yourselves so harshly, do not let others be your executioners
We always pay attention to social acceptance. Often times we are unable to take a step forward without thinking about what others are going to think. Instead of being a treasure, our existence turns into a place that is cold and hopeless. We isolate ourselves and do not have the courage to express our opinion. Ultimately, we do everything in our power to avoid attracting attention.
The situation becomes complicated when we disappoint someone or ourselves. Regardless of who is right, the first thing we must do is accept the guilt. This leads us to judge ourselves cruelly and mercilessly at times. The confidence we have in ourselves and our self-esteem receive a brutal blow.
It could also happen that others take it upon themselves to tell us that our behavior is inappropriate. They impose an unjust, arbitrary and disproportionate sanction on us. Inevitably, we are the only ones who get hurt in the end. Instead, remember that we deserve the respect we give others. That is one of the basic guarantees of coexistence. Nobody has the right to deny you a second chance. Accepting your mistakes is a noble act that will enrich you (and those around you). We are all equal.
In order for guilt not to become an obstacle in your life, you need to forgive yourself. You also need to know how to forgive and understand that your friends and co-workers have no power over you.
Leave the guilt in the past and start moving forward in the present
Many people misunderstand this statement: ” If you forget your story, you are doomed to repeat it.” This phrase is attributed to the Spanish poet Jorge Agustin Nicolas Ruiz. Some see it as an incentive to linger in the past. Yes, it is necessary to remember his story in order not to make the same mistakes again. Nonetheless , no one can grow while carrying the weight of things that could have been but never happened.
Perhaps one of the most common mistakes we make is sticking to the past. We behave like a prisoner with a life sentence. We only move within certain limits, and nothing and no one can get us out of this physical and mental paralysis. Later this guilt will rule our every action until we become people marked by frustration.
We are living in space and time. Our life is very short compared to the rhythm in which the universe is ticking. Here we measure the passage of time in seconds, minutes and hours. Then in days and nights. And we end up with cycles of weeks, months, and years. But the universe doesn’t know seconds, days, and even years don’t mean anything. “ The earth is nothing more than a light blue point in an infinite time”, as Carl Sagan described it.
If we look at the past constructively, the guilt will go away. We will manage to get out of this track. It’s the only way to really mature. On the contrary, if, on the contrary, we allow our past to force ourselves into a corner and impose itself on our present, we will not be able to move forward. We are the architects of our own destiny because the future is in our hands.
