Choose A Love Without Pain
If you’ve had a lot of frustrating love affairs, you may have come to the conclusion that love hurts more than it should and more than we deserve it. Love makes us very happy, but when things don’t go well or we’re not with the right person, we can suffer a lot too.
Infidelity, addiction, jealousy … all of these cause us to suffer in love. Are we expecting too much from the person we love? Why does happiness suddenly turn into pain? Today I want to choose painless love, but how?
“Love hurts. It’s like you settle down somewhere to be shed and you know that at any moment someone could go and take your skin with them. “
Susan Sunday
Do we learn to suffer for love?
You sure haven’t thought about it before, but what if, for some reason, we’ve learned to suffer for love? Subconsciously and unintentionally. Sometimes we don’t realize how much we have been conditioned from childhood to act the way we do. If we had been born elsewhere, we would probably be different.
But what if you were born in a place where one man can have multiple wives? Then what would jealousy be? Our culture teaches us that love is beautiful, that it makes us happy, and that we can’t be happy if we don’t have it.
We have also been taught that argument undermines our relationship, that jealousy can destroy trust, and that infidelity hurts and makes us feel betrayed.
These are just some of the things you have to face when you are in a relationship. Because, interestingly , we see our partner as our property. We expect too much from him, and anything unexpected (infidelity) can disappoint us.
It’s true that every relationship is built on trust, but you also have to be realistic! There will be many people who disappoint you because they will destroy the trust you have in them.
Love is giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting them not to.
Stop suffering for love!
Almost all of us have the same idea of what a loving couple is. And below that are all of the things that were mentioned earlier: there is no such thing as infidelity, it can get out of the routine, and so on. In love we should be happy and not suffer. How can you free yourself from this suffering?
- Don’t give up your independence and individuality for the relationship; protect yourself.
- Always be yourself and don’t let yourself be changed.
- Have a partner to be happy with, not to cry.
- Don’t commit to someone if you don’t already know them well.
- Respect personal space, be independent!
These are just a few things to keep in mind so that you can stop suffering in love. Respect your friendship, spend time with yourself. There is no need to be together all the time, as it can destroy your relationship in the long run.
Likewise, there are people who would do anything for the person they love. Be careful with that! Of course, you can give anything to someone you love, but are you sure they won’t hurt you? As soon as you love someone, you immediately become vulnerable. If the other person wants to hurt you, they will, and you may not even notice. You inadvertently give them the power to destroy you.
“We are content to live miserably because we are afraid of change.”
John W. Jacobs
It’s nice to love, but often it makes us more unhappy to be in a relationship than if we were alone. Consider carefully how happy your relationship can make you, or what you should change to fully enjoy your relationship. You don’t deserve to suffer for love.
Love should be lived with passion, with joy, with care, and with trust. Pain is something that doesn’t fit into the world of love. Why do you force yourself to suffer for love?
Images courtesy of Pascal Campion and Miho Hirano
