Replace Anger With Compassion

Each of us has felt anger at some point. To control anger, however, is something in which you have to work. Even if we do not explain directly how to control it, what we are going to do today is how to replace anger with another emotion, namely compassion. Because compassion is important when it comes to reducing the intensity and frequency of tantrums.

People who generally feel strong anger cannot show empathy for their fellow human beings and cannot forgive them. Still, the feeling of anger is something that can be changed over time and influenced positively. Compassion happens unconsciously and from within, but can also be developed through a conscious, selected effort with a little practice.

Conscious compassion

Compassion is an emotion that comes from the unconscious. However, it is possible to consciously empathize if one is willing to understand the other person’s feelings and motivations. We can train our brains and try to be more compassionate, and that happens on a conscious level.

Experienced moments and personal experiences allow a development of compassion  and help to understand the emotional world and the current state of mind of the other person.

For example, if someone is crying, you could try to put yourself in their shoes and understand the things that make them sad. And when we feel each other’s pain, we feel sadness too. The experience of each person is unique, and that makes us sometimes difficult to link the other with your own : Our comparison might be sad for many reasons, we do not understand or they themselves have not experienced.

Open up to feel compassion

It is important to let go of our prejudices in order to be emphatic. So that we can empathize with the pain of the other, we have to get to know their life, listen to them when they give us an insight into their emotional world, and follow the conversation.

Once the other person has opened up, this enables us to see what is really on his mind at the moment. This kind of compassion requires a certain connection. A connection that we don’t always want to get involved in, but that gets easier over time.

In this context, it is important to know that our compassion includes not only emotions, but also an understanding of our thoughts and actions. To be compassionate, one must look beyond the other person’s feelings and understand their way of thinking, their intentions, and their way of perceiving the world and those around them.

This kind of compassion is called compassionate concern. Compassionate people also show greater compassionate concern towards those around them.

So when we are angry with another person and we want to dampen our anger, it is crucial that we develop not only compassion but also compassionate concern. Compassion decreases our anger as it replaces negative feelings. Compassionate concern replaces our anger, as our responses take into account each other’s needs and help avoid irrational tantrum responses.

Understand your counterpart

Empathy is actually a skill that can be developed and improved. Those who manage that get a better feel for the emotional world of their fellow human beings. Our compassion can reduce our anger because we face different challenges, problems, or situations that affect others.

There is a negative correlation between compassion and anger. Anger decreases a person’s ability to feel empathy. But if we show compassion towards the other, the chances are we won’t get angry with them. This shows us that compassion suppresses anger and aggression and creates understanding. The actions of the others will then be much easier to understand.

Connections? This means that something has nothing to do with “being right”, but rather with an understanding of the reason for doing something. For example: Understanding the reactions that trigger aggression and avoid repeating them.

The ability to keep calm

It is important to know that anger makes us unable to calm down. The key to compassion is calm. This is the only way we can focus on each other’s thoughts, feelings, and intentions. If we show empathy, we can avoid stormy reactions.

Because when we are angry and very upset inside, it is difficult to understand the thoughts, feelings and intentions of the other person. At the same time, our anger intensifies and ensures that we judge the other unjustly. The result: we come to the premature judgment that the other person acted wrongly. This makes it all the more important to work on your own behaviors and be more objective in order to develop compassion and compassionate concern.

On the other hand, angry people tend to be very hostile as they feel the need to punish the person who made them angry. In fact, we do not punish our fellow human beings, but we show them our anger and hostility and seek revenge. That gets in the way of compassionate concern. So we react with anger so as not to feel sad about each other’s pain.

There are several ways to respond to anger

There are very different ways to react to anger and aggressive behavior. Some people can handle other people’s anger better. They can better relate to the pain, shame, guilt, sadness, loneliness, and fears that make them angry .

These people have the ability to put themselves in the other person’s shoes and understand their point of view, control their reactions and empathize with the angry person. They can identify with the other person and usually get on very well with other people.

On the other hand, there are those who are more sensitive and who have anger inside. They too want to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling, but suppress it and try to avoid a heated discussion.

How do you fight anger?

Once we have acquired the ability to empathize with the pain and anger-based behaviors of others, it becomes easier for us to face anger and make up.

The constant feeling of having to justify yourself and the anger can be counterproductive and you will not become a compassionate person that way. We must try to understand other people’s feelings and be sensitive to those around us in order to develop empathy and compassionate concern.

Life is too short to be constantly upset about anything and everything. The desire for revenge and the feeling of superiority do not advance us in life. So the next time you feel angry in a situation, remember to empathize with the other person.