The Recovery Effect: Relieving The Pain Of A Breakup
If you decided to read this, it is likely because you have been heartbroken at least once in your life. Maybe you have developed a relationship with someone and you doubt how you are feeling. Is it a recovery? Or worse, are you the recovery?
What you do know is that you went through a difficult time and you don’t necessarily have to go through the same experience. You know that love always starts spontaneously, blindly, and optimistically. Nonetheless, the confusion reigns in your head. Something is wrong.
“I hope that at least you’re not stupid enough to believe that you can use one nail to knock out another. None of them, I repeat, none of them are the same size. If you drive another nail in the same spot, you’ll just push the first one in deeper. If you wrap it in another place, you multiply your wounds … “
How do you know if you are in a recreational relationship?
Love is uncontrollable and unpredictable. This means it can end, and not always the way you would like it to. However, when love begins, it has the quality of being special and making you feel special. Each partner is blind to the other, seeing only perfection with no room for doubt.
The recovery effect occurs in many new relationships that begin after a long relationship has ended. They tend to develop over the course of the next year, after the previous relationship ended. Recreational relationships are also characterized by a short duration and a relatively unstable existence.
This happens because the person did not adequately mourn the emotional loss. She didn’t have enough time to accept what happened or to let the fresh wound heal. Instead, she runs away from accepting it by longing for a new experience that will make the process easier.
“… The nail that is really hammered, the perfect hole that hardly gets air, never goes away. Only time can turn it into a scar. “
Ernesto Pérez Vallejo
The consequences of the rebound effect
As Ernesto Pérez rightly put it, one nail cannot knock out another. Because we are people with feelings, we need enough time to digest and integrate the experience. In fact , everyone who walks through our lives has a place in our hearts. And it is a mistake to replace them with other people.
It is a mistake to do so. We either cheat ourselves, or we cheat or use the other person. Recovery relationships are like masks that cover up our own personal needs. Deep down inside what we are really doing is adding weight to the burden of separation and acting dishonestly.
The consequence of recreational relationships affects both the new partner and you. You have to allow yourself to feel the pain. This will prevent you from suffering later and give yourself a new chance in a real relationship.
On the other hand, if you think you are the recovery, be very careful. Observe and understand exactly how the other person is feeling. Be careful and only submit to the relationship if you are sure that the bond you have established is healthy for both of you. Keep in mind that the other person may not be in the right place to decide what they want.
Learn to be single
Getting back on your feet is the wrong way to move on. Because if someone recently left a void in your heart, only you can break away from your pain and rebuild yourself.
It is necessary to learn to be single. Especially during times when life hits you hard so you don’t stay single forever. Hiding from the weight and fear won’t help you move forward. As well as believing that your happiness depends on other people.
“It is pointless to look for it. When you least expect it, a bar will appear. And from then on, nothing will be as it was. One day you can sniff the glory and the next day it breaks your heart. Or maybe not. Or maybe you are lucky and end up being satiated with happiness. “
Karmelo Iribarren
Don’t follow relationships if you really are unable to love and get through your past without erasing it. And don’t go one step further until you’re ready. In this way, you can gradually find balance and be able to love again.
