The Houdini Syndrome: Being Emotionally Unavailable

Some people are emotionally unavailable in a relationship. Indeed, for them, the greater the responsibility, the greater their need to get rid of it. Read on below to find out more on this topic!

Houdini syndrome refers to the escape skills of the mythical Hungarian-born American escapist Harry Houdini. However, in this article, you will learn more about the psychological escapism triggered by avoidance. This is the case when people avoid family gatherings, jobs, and daily chores.

The clash of different egos, indulgence, and even the difficulty of expressing yourself without harming the partner are common in interpersonal relationships. However, the fact that many people are escaping these relationships is a deeper symptom of the lack of engagement in modern societies.

In many cases there is a direct link. The greater the responsibility, the greater the need to flee . Lots of people just mess with it, but what actually caused this behavior? Why is it so difficult for these people to really engage emotionally?

The concepts of the family and herd mentality are often skewed these days, favoring Houdini syndrome

Emotional engagement and the Houdini syndrome

Emotional engagement has never been more in demand than it is today. Social bonds have always been a very active part of the evolution of our species.

However, commitment can also mean the opposite: distance and detachment. Feelings and the ability to show them openly are essential to empathize with others.

Even Houdini would be surprised

The concepts of the family and herd mentality are often skewed these days. They are part of an individualistic society in which the youth movements are even more dispersed. This shows up not only in romantic relationships, but also in friendships that can develop into utilitarianism.

Houdini syndrome and its different stages

Usually Houdini syndrome consists of several stages. These phases are part of a process that starts with an emotional commitment and goes all the way to total rejection. Let’s take a look at the main features of these phases below:

Implications. This is the stage of the sentimental boom. This is where persuasion strategies play a role in getting something from the other person. It seems like there are no limits to love or friendship.
Doubt. The very loose grounds on which the emotional bonds were made make people doubt their emotions. This is where things start to fall apart. This is a slow process.
Escape. There is no contact in this last phase. The other person has disappeared from your life and there is no communication taking place.

A society that doesn’t want to help

We live in an individualistic society that doesn’t necessarily enter into relationships. Technology has given society a complete understanding of communication.

These days you no longer have to stand or be right next to someone to actively engage with them. This makes breaking relationships easier because you don’t have to justify yourself face to face. Attachments now go beyond those who are physically close to you.

Social networks favor Houdini syndrome

In this context, there are many tools available today that facilitate social relationships. For example Tinder or Facebook, where you can contact people from all over the world or find a partner in no time. People are essentially no longer needed. There is a Volksbank with a lot of other people on hold.

Emotional supply and demand

Fast social bonds change the ecstasy of love and friendships are less lasting. Once these bonds are made, we return to the social market to discover the ecstasy of novelty. So there is now a kind of emotional supply and demand with novelty as a common denominator. Superficiality prevails in this market . A distinctive social media profile is essential.

Childhood love

Houdini syndrome can originate from your youth. Many relationship professionals believe that one possible cause is that you experience little to no emotional education when you are teenagers. Teens are constantly bombarded with stereotypes about how relationships should be.

Escape response

While there are certain individuals who identify with this syndrome, its effects and characteristics are a product of social phenomena. The syndrome can be shown in many ways and depends on many factors, such as the person’s personality.

How can you recognize Houdini syndrome?

To analyze Houdini syndrome, you should first analyze yourself. Often people complain about it, but they see other people as Plan B to.

Emotional involvement leads to selfishness. So how can you spot an escape artist? Through their inability to get involved beyond their own interests.

Emotional weakness

Here’s the dilemma. Can you really get involved? If you are superficially involved, you cannot expect to form strong and lasting bonds if you see them as a risk. Therefore, taking advantage of other people and then running away from them is a clear symptom of emotional weakness. And weakness can be expressed in many ways.

Avoidance behavior. This applies to people who cannot commit, but also cannot end relationships directly. In this way, they gradually avoid contact with people by making up excuses.
Denial. These people can show some kind of emotional block. They tend to have trouble expressing their feelings honestly.
Selfishness. These people find it difficult to plan activities outside of their interests.

All is not lost

People don’t have to be escape artists to fit the profile defined in this article. Just analyze your own behavior and if you notice a trait that is similar to this, try to fix it before it becomes systematic. Some indications for this are:

Face your fears. It is true that you take a risk when you commit yourself emotionally. Trust, empathy and feelings seem to play a role here. Don’t be afraid to act on your own terms.
Self esteem. You shouldn’t sell yourself as something you are not. The people who want to be with you will love you for the real you and therefore stay with you.
Take care of others. Responsibility is important and playing with the feelings of others is something an escape artist would do. Being honest is one way of protecting others.

The saying “ love and hate are close together ” became “ love and hate are just a text message away ”. While you may identify a Houdini patient in people from your past, you should still be objective. Individualism and the speed at which everything changes are also part of modern relationships. In a way, they ask for better social qualities more.