Why Do I Keep Getting From One Relationship Crisis To The Next?

Why was it different before? At some point you’ve probably asked yourself this question about the state of your relationship. It arouses doubts, distrust and uncertainty. Above all, it feels to you as if you – your partner and you – are in a permanent crisis. However, one shouldn’t worry excessively about a relationship crisis. It occurs when change is needed, and it does every now and then in any good relationship. However, you should be thinking about how to deal with a relationship crisis.

Do you find yourself blaming the other person? Or do you deny what’s going on? Then a critical look at your own behavior could help. Another, and not exactly beneficial, behavior is believing that a crisis will mean the end of your relationship. It is just as unhealthy to blindly trust certain beliefs. Especially when they subtly break the bond that binds you to your partner. After a couple of years together in a relationship, it’s normal for challenges to arise. Some of them you may not have even imagined in a dream. But that’s all normal. The secret lies in dealing with these challenges.

Many couples are very frightened by the change. If the relationship is no longer in its early stages and changes are necessary, this could perhaps trigger a crisis.

Beliefs and behaviors that can trigger a relationship crisis

Romantic relationships are extremely important to us. Yet there are some beliefs and behaviors that make it difficult for them to survive. It can turn a beautiful thing into a bad thing. This includes, for example, the answers to the following questions: What do you think a relationship should look like? What is love to you How do you think your partner should behave? Your ideas have an influence on you. They can therefore also trigger a crisis.

“‘Crisis’ describes a situation that threatens change.”

Quote from the US TV series “Webster”

Another example is the fact that most people would prefer their honeymoon never to end. When the intensity of this phase subsides, you can recognize the person in your partner for who he really is. Then the expectations and ideals vanish into thin air. This can very well lead to a crisis.

As soon as you take off the blindfold of being in love and realize that the special person in your life is not as perfect as you imagined, you try to move on as best you can with that realization. To make this task easier for you, you may try to change your partner. You try to shape it according to your ideals and expectations and to steer it in the desired direction. That won’t work, however.

However, that’s not the same as accepting your partner for who they are. You are just trying to make this person congruent with your ideas. If you act like this, you could hurt your partner. Then there are problems. Because how would you feel if someone wanted to change your very being? It’s perfectly fine for you to ask your partner for a change – as long as you don’t ask for it and also take their opinion into account.

Another mistake is believing that once you’re in a relationship, you don’t have to try harder anymore. Love wants to be cherished and cared for every day. But for some reason those involved like to put their feet up when they see the partner as a safe bet. And then they forget to show their life partner how much they are valued and loved. This is about the basics of having a healthy relationship based on admiration and respect.

If you put the blame for everything that goes wrong in the partnership on your significant other, it means nothing more than: You don’t want to take your share of the responsibility. A couple is a team and if you give your partner the buck for everything, then there is no team.

Undoubtedly, the trigger for most crises is a lack of communication. It is not healthy to be silent about the things that bother you. Most people do that: they eat everything in until they suddenly explode. It is also not very helpful to have doubts about your partner and not to talk about them. In this constant state of uncertainty, you will eventually make decisions that will put the relationship to the test. Each of the partners will then be next to themselves. Everything we have enumerated will damage the bond between you.

Everyone needs their freedom

A relationship crisis can also be triggered by emotional dependence. This happens when you are convinced that the person by your side is the only source of your happiness. You feel that you would be nothing without your partner and you are completely attached to them. It then seems impossible to do anything without your partner. Or to feel good without it.

In every relationship, however, it is crucial that both partners enjoy personal freedom. Both should spend time with their respective friends and do things they enjoy themselves. Your favorite person is not the center of the world. If you treat him like this, you can cut off his breath. If you are completely dependent on the other person, it also creates fear, uncertainty, and doubt about the relationship. If you put these three things together, a relationship crisis could follow.

Your partner is your soul mate. Your partner does not complete you. The person you want to share your life with is a traveling companion. Not the reason you live

You may also compare your relationship with other partnerships. But you only see them from the outside. Everything seems to be perfect there. Other couples do all things together, they are never apart. This can affect your relationship as well. Then you might wish that everything went just as well for you. However, you don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors. Your dream couple may be in crisis every day.

It is unfair and pointless to compare your partnership with others. You are different from other people. Your life path was different and you had to face things that others never saw themselves confronted with. And vice versa. Every couple is unique and it is extremely important to remember them over and over again.

“Mature love attracts without making promises and brings us together without being tied to one another. It feeds on gratitude and grows in freedom. “

Holistic center Ari Shemoth

Every relationship crisis is also an opportunity

So you see that crises are just opportunities to turn your relationship upside down and steer it in a new direction. The change could either be as your relationship continues to unfold or a breakup occurs. A change makes you press the pause button for a moment and think about your relationship.

The first step in overcoming a crisis is therefore your own openness. In other words, be ready to deal with this crisis in the best possible way. Both partners need to think about the relationship and talk about it. To do this, everyone feels again individually.

When you sit down for a conversation with your partner, just forget about your allegations for a moment and try to adopt a practical and positive attitude. It is not very helpful if you remind the other person of everything that has ever been made of mistakes. The alternative to this would be to think of ways to improve. Or how you can iron out what has happened between you. This may result in a compromise. Otherwise you will not find a way out of the permanent crisis. If the two of you do not come up with an acceptable solution, see relationship experts.

Relationship crises may lead to a breakup. Or maybe not. Whatever the result, the experience is necessary and important. You have to learn to deal with crises if you want to be a better person and relationship partner.