Self-control – What Should We Do When We Are About To “explode “?

Believe it or not, it can also be good to get angry sometimes. Because when we are upset, this feeling allows us to release all of our frustration and anger in it. Anger is a feeling that arises when we are in a difficult situation and that requires self-control so that this situation does not escalate.

But annoyance is a feeling that comes and goes, and we can react differently in the same situation. For example, if I’ve loaned a book and I just can’t get it back, anger can help me get it back and it makes me feel better.

This is not to say that we have to scream or vent our anger when we are angry when we try to reclaim our possessions. On the contrary – in this case, anger is a controlled stimulus that allows us to ask for something.

“If you don’t express your anger and don’t even acknowledge it yourself, it will become so strong that you have no power or control over it.”

Carolyn Heilbrun

Are you one of those people who know how to express their anger? Or do you swallow it until you can’t take it anymore and you have no choice but to “explode”?

The former is healthiest, but if you’re not able to, I’d like to give you a few tips in this article to help you keep yourself calm when you’re about to explode.

When we lose control …

If we lose self-control and do not vent our anger in a reasonable amount, one of the consequences is that we build up angry feelings. This means all the feelings we suppress: things we don’t want to say for fear of reacting; all the disturbing emotions that we don’t want to bring out. We eat everything into ourselves, but we don’t get rid of this emotional junk.

It is important that we understand that these feelings do not just go away just because we ignore them. Not let out and unprocessed emotions remain, even if we are actually not even aware of them.

Here is an example: If a certain behavior of one of my friends bothered me, in retrospect the family situation is not the best and I have problems at work because of this stress, which will sooner or later come to light.

Even if we believe that we can no longer remember what we did not like about the behavior of our friend – even if the troublemaker was only one thing – all the feelings that we previously stored come to light at a later point in time had.

When I lose control, I am not clear about what I am doing, everything seems confused and I often forget what I said and did during this loss of control.

Because right then, when we hit the ceiling, we lose control of ourselves. If you also belong to one of these people, you will surely surprise everyone else with your reactions and even yourself.

And you, too, can certainly no longer remember what you said or did when you lost control. Every emotion, every feeling just bursts out of you without you having any control over it.

That makes you an unpredictable person. You could explode at any time and you cannot choose the moment to do it yourself. You’re like a ticking time bomb that could go off instantly.

I’m about to explode – what should I do now?

It is very difficult to determine when we will burst. But when we know each other, we know exactly when we are on the verge of losing self-control or self-control, even if that happens very late.

The best thing to do is to learn to express all the emotions that build up the moment we feel them. Or at least we should try not to let this bubble of emotion arise that will burst sooner or later.

Therefore, if you are about to lose self-control, you should take the following advice to heart:

• Ask yourself: is it really worth the anger? Do I have good reasons for this?
• Learn to open your mouth, ask for something, and let yourself know when it comes to saying anything that bothers you.
• Go inside yourself for a moment and take a deep breath.
• Try to find solutions to what makes you angry.

It is important that you learn from your outbursts of anger, say goodbye to your emotional junk that might otherwise build up and burst out of you at any time.

Think of solutions, but please never think that one possible solution is to ignore your feelings and see what happens. You know, of course, that this will have devastating consequences, right ?!

You should also understand that it is better to pull yourself out of hopeless situations. Out of habit, people tell us to calm down. But that only makes us angry and the anger obscures our view.

When I’m about to hit the ceiling, I prefer to sit back and take a deep breath.

Learn from these moments to share your feelings in each one in the future. This way, you will feel better about yourself while avoiding the loss of self-control that usually happens in the most inappropriate moments.